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Wednesday, April 05, 2006

comfortambly numb and Little Girl Secrets part1

I have finally cracked this sleeping gig; the secret is earplugs. Oh and ludicrously strong painkillers, throw in some vanilla scented candles and it's all aboard the snooze train, destination-Dreamsville. My bed has finally become a soothing womb instead of the battleground I am normally faced with.

The painkillers aren't even mine, they have been prescribed to my mom for her fractured leg, but she's given them to me for my back, and if I'm honest my back felt much better today, I’m just taking them now for the numb buzz (the first person to e-mail me telling me how dangerous this is wins a mint shoe and a dog collar).

***************

While I was in the states last summer, I taught archery to boys and girls from the ages of 8 to 13. The boys were relatively easy to teach because of archery's inherent coolness, nothing will grab a boys attention more than the prospect of handling a dangerous weapon. The girls on the other hand got bored pretty quickly so for them I invented a game called "secrets" (Christ that sounds dodgy) the game involved each one of them writing down a secret or embarrassing story, then I would mix them up and tape them to the targets, if the girl hit one of the pieces of paper I would then read it out and she would have to guess who it belonged to. The game was a huge success but the girls told me to destroy the bits of paper, I told them in an off hand manner that I was going to keep them and put them on the internet for everyone to see, they laughed and thought I was joking.

I wasn't.

"fart"! little girls dont "fart" surely, at most they Guff or maybe Blow Off but never "fart". Dads "fart".

Which is quite horrifying, but its hard to take it too seriously because of the adorable way she has spelt drowned

imagine being made to eat a spider, someone bigger than you forcing you to eat a spider. thats quite horrible. and if you dont think so, check out the picture.

more soon

(i am going to hell arn't i?)

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3 Comments:

Blogger String2010 ranted..

i killed a man with a hammer then played with his wang

10:57 PM  
Blogger malachi trizec ranted..

...taking someone else's painkillers is not only dangerous, it's downright spoooky...do i win the mint shoe? you can keep the dog collar.

5:39 AM  
Blogger Puck ranted..

Errm yeah well you see the thing is, the thing is this; i was whacked out of my brain on VERY strong painkillers when i promised the mint shoe. in fact im almost entirly sure they dont actally exist.

sorry

how bout summat else?

1:55 PM  

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