Election 05

first let me tell you a joke

a thief gets sent to prison and is shown the cell where he will be living, inside there is a large large man, behind him he hears the door lock as the large man says
'were going to play happy familys, who do you want to be mommy or daddy?' naturally the thief is terrifed but he manages to stammer
'd-d-daddy'
'good'the large man says 'now come over here and suck mommys dick'

you see, however we vote were going to be fucked (in the mouth). We only have the illusion of choice. The only thing we really have to go on, apart from party promises (which are so well known to be lies its a cliche to point it out), are the people heading the partys. The trouble is they all remind me of the type of people i went to school with. AND FUCKING HATED

Tony Blair- You now the kid at school that would lie about everything, his dad once built a robot, he has a swimming pool but no one else is allowed to see it, he once lived in america but the state changed every time you asked him? remember the most annoying thing about him was when you caught him out on a lie and he wouldnt back down? well old TB has that sort slippery weaselness that, at school would have gotten him stabbed in the leg with a compass.

Micheal Howard- Looks like the kid that grassed on you for messing about with the science equipment.

Charles Kennedy- Looks like the fat ginger kid, a specific one, one at my school, when cornered you could make him sing a tuneless desperate version of any song in the top ten that we made him learn just for this purpose, looking back its the horribly unethusiastic dance that he did to accompany them that tugs at my guilt strings.

so thats your choice folks, a compulsive liar, a grass or a ginger victim.

How will i vote? same way i always do by drinking a little to much and scrawling swearwords on my card. Fuck them and fuck there sham pantomine ritual.