dislecksia update

(productive little sucker today aint i?)

I went to my first "assement" today. it was at early o clock just left of the back of beyond. so i had to be up even earlier, of course my body thought "if you have to be up early, why go to sleep?" two hours of rubbish sleep later im doddering round the house swallowing the emergancy diet pills despreatly trying to make my self coherant.

anyway, upshot is i arrive buzzing on a reckless mixture of uppers and downers in a weird state of drug equillibrum. im then taken to a room smaller than a cuboard and asked a series of questions by a bored looking assisant. The questions were a series of symptoms that indicate dyslexia.

of about 20 questions i answered yes too well over half and "sometimes" to a couple more, so i looks like im taking the test.

i suppose my real misgivings about this whole thing are; if i havnt got it then theres no real excuse for my spelling it is just lazyness like i was told by my early teachers. Also (and bear with me while i indulge myself in some lazy pop pyhcology) Ive always defined myself as "smart" and "the guy that reads a lot", if i do have it i dont want to be known as "smart (for a dyslexic)" or "the guy that reads a lot (even though his a dyslexic)".

am i being unrational? yes. should i catch hold of myself and stop being such a fucking child about it? almost definatly.am i drunk? you bet your arse.