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Thursday, May 04, 2006

notes on the sun, being a ex-goth and a sexual deviant

I'm finding it hard to write , the sunlight is glaring off the harsh white pages of my notebook, but any of you reading this that have flirting with alcoholism or dabbled a little too far with drugs, will understand how much I need this right now, I am thirsty for the sun, i have a urgent junkie need for it.

Whinging morons with sunlamps and Prozac can bang on about S.A.D but its dancing round the fact that I think we all intrinsically know- human beings are solar powered, we should fucking hibernate and be done with this winter nonsense once and for all.

Its days like this, despite all evidence to the contrary, that I can almost believe that love exists, sunlight is eroding my misanthropy; you can't be jaded and content.

Confession Time: When I was younger I was a Goth, shit at one point I may have been dumb enough to convince myself that I was an actual vampire. But I missed the sun, it was my dark Goth secret, when everyone else would be in underground bars secretly sweating and muttering, I would be guiltily in my back garden reading in the sun. Eventually I had to stop being a Goth, having a sense of humour and a small amount of self awareness automatically excludes you from talking about "the burden of eternal night" and not giggling every time someone introduces themselves as "Ravenwolf Macabre the third".

I can feel my skin getting warm, but I never tan, at most I get a rash of freckles across my nose. In other news I am growing my hair again, I know this is a mistake during the summer but I am doing it anyway (story of my life). This is because I realised I have had the same haircut for the past five years, and it seems the only guys getting laid recently are skinny fucking boys with a mop of hair and bodies like ironing boards, so knowing I will never be that skinny guy I can at least grow out my hair and see what happens.

Chances of a girlfriend are slim though, call me a deviant but I have just spent the last ten minutes staring behind my shades at a girl who has slipped off her sandals and is stretching out her toes in the cool grass like a kitten sharpening her claws. I am surrounded by sunbathing women in various states of undress and I find this action the most sexy and endearing. I have also just realised there are only two guys drinking on there own, a forty year old guy with neck tattoos and a pasty looking guy dressed in black writing in his notebook, one is me but both of us are not getting laid anytime soon, I going to stop now and play with my mobile phone this will make me look less like a serial killer because it proves I have friends that aren't figments of my imagination and at least a modicum of social skills.

Homework- Enjoy the sun

Coming Soon- More Child Secrets

8 Comments:

Anonymous Reese ranted..

Aren't all English people pasty and white?

8:20 PM  
Blogger Puck ranted..

Nah some of us are orange because of a bad choice of foundation or an idiotic amount of sunbed abuse.

1:24 AM  
Blogger Reese ranted..

lol, pucky, I thought the entire English race was made from flour and water. Be careful spending too much time in the sun, doll, or you might rise and turn into a loaf of bread.

p.s. you're sounding more and more like Baudelaire by the day. but that's a good thing. really.

6:29 AM  
Blogger String2010 ranted..

whingeing morons eh? way to make me write something.

were all medicating puck, its just some of us think its less pathetic to do a Besty and waste a dead mans liver.

6:55 AM  
Blogger Puck ranted..

bout time you did, lazy string.

I understand your point, but S.A.D? thats not a real thing, even the anacronim is a bit too conveinant

9:15 AM  
Anonymous Reese ranted..

Hey Pucky,

I made a "Yahoo avatar" and put it on my blog. You should make one, too. If you like Internet quizzes, you'll probably find this tons of fun.

Later!

5:22 PM  
Blogger Puck ranted..

i just spent far too long making one, only for it to look nothing like me.

6:39 PM  
Anonymous Reese ranted..

Well, it's not going to look exactly like you. Pop it up! Let's see!

4:10 PM  

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