Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Shit shit and double shit!

I got one of my essays back today, attached was a note saying "as a favour, if you rewrite this; we will pretend you never handed this in". A hobnailed boot kick in the balls and spit in the face, I suppose the bastards thought they are being kind, but there gesture, although well intentioned is worthless, an executioners mercy is not a minutes reprieve, but a sharp axe, just fail me and get it over with . The real pinch of the nipple is that, in my head, it was the best one of the four, the essay I was most sure would at least pass. Which now means the other three will almost defiantly fail or be given back.

I know I'm smart, it's just that I'm not academic, my brain does not, and will never, work in the way that produces uni level essays, maybe if I drink more that would help? Shit, it's worth a shot.

I'm sitting on a bus, and to counter the affect of the coping beers I had at lunch time, I'm crunching caffeinated candy, part of a test batch produced by Cadburys not available in the shops yet, they taste like crunchy lime Chewits with a slightly bitter aftertaste. Eating a pack is like snorting raw espresso grounds. On the pack they call themselves "citrus flavour stimulation capsules" but I prefer the term "crack sweets".


Blogger fridgemagnet ranted..

I bet that chocolate-covered espresso beans are better.

8:55 PM  
Blogger Puck ranted..

Where can i get them!

me want!

12:05 AM  
Blogger fridgemagnet ranted..

Whittards sell them, and a few other places where you can buy overpriced food. My mum gets me them for Christmas.

12:59 PM  
Blogger Puck ranted..

cool and do they work, and by work i mean make you grind your teeth and shout at strangers

2:00 PM  
Blogger Mr Anthony Keane ranted..

coffee enemas are quicker hitting, and good for you!

12:11 PM  
Blogger fridgemagnet ranted..

They work pretty well. Half a bag and you're up til six in the morning. Plus not as hard on the stomach as actual coffee.

12:57 PM  
Blogger Lynn ranted..

Good luck with future essays. Maybe drinking less would help your writing abilities ^-^

9:07 PM  
Anonymous Reese ranted..

Lost cause, Lynn.

9:22 PM  
Blogger Puck ranted..

drinking less ehhh? its a long shot, but it might just work.

thanks for the immoral support Reese

12:39 AM  

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