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Thursday, October 12, 2006

tagged

The air was thick with smoke and noise and my unshaven face was pressed against the cool glass of the window over looking the sodden and bustling high street I was seeking solance from. My eyes were closed, savouring the chilly smooth texture as my hangover throbbed and stomach churned, so I smelt her before I saw her, the smell of burnt vanillia and old leather.

"Puck?" I carefully opened my eyes, even the dark bar I was in was too much this morning. I blearly made out a shape, then her figure "svelte" was the word that floated through my head, at that point, with such an obscure word, I knew brain damage was unlikley so I gave focusing a go. I was greeted with the figure of a boyish looking woman, dyed red hair short and scruffy and dressed fashionably edgy.

"Mr Puck?" her accent was nicly American with a hint of upstate Yankee, "christ" i thought "if she's perky I may puke". I forced a grin and took a long pull of the Hairy Dog in front of me

"I'm The Internet" she said "You've been tagged i'm afraid, i'm here to ask you some questions"

"Piss off" I said, "I never do those stupid self indulgant things, everyone knows that", unflapped, she took off her denim jaket and settled in next to me, ordered two Hairy Dogs from the bartender and said

"I was told to tell you "shroom-monkey sent me""she took out a battered looking notepad and I sighed

"order yourself a drink, get me some painkillers, and lets get this over with."

1) Would you bungee jump?
I would like to think that i would, but i guess you never know untill your at the top. if I DID over come my suspicion that the human body was never designed to decellerate that quickly, it would be a proffessional type affair from a bridge or something, as opposed to them dodgy looking crane situations ran by a bored looking simpleton and a greasy fat man in a vest in pub car parks at a car boot sale.

2) If you could do anything in the world for a living what would it be?
travel writer or journalist - not flippent enough? Fuck you

3) Your favorite fictional animal?
Hobbes from calvin and hobbes

4) One person who never fails to make you laugh?
Me, because if you can't laugh at yourself, you've got no right to laugh at anything else

5) When you were 12 years old what did you want to be when you grew up?
I honestly cant remember, probably a comic book artist

6) What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Go back to sleep untill the afternoon, im an art student bon vivant insomniac, I dont do mornings

7) Have you ever gone to therapy?
I'm English darling, I can call you darling, cant I? good. the English dont have thearpy, we have pubs, we dont have therapists, we have friends.

8) If you could have one super power what would it be?
teleportation, cos im both impatiant and lazy.

9) Your favorite cartoon character?
Bugs Bunny, an true icon and anarchist.

10) Do you go to church?
not since that deal with the red fella, not allowed.

11) What is your best childhood memory?
a bit of a cop out, but I cant really remember what happened last night, sorry darling.

12) Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
isnt that the point? of course its a ritual, and a very old one at that, no one can argue that. shouldnt the question be "do you think a legally binding monogamous relationships are still relevant, or practical?"?

and since you ask darling, yes to both

13) Do you own a gun?
As i mentioned earlier, im English darling, so no. But, on one of my few trips to the states, i did stay a few nights with an ex-intelligence officer who served in Nam, and he lets me shoot some of his guns. Apparantly I'm good with handguns but shit at the rifles

14) Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Are you coming on to me darling?

15) Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people?
a few times but i wasnt really singing as I am dreadful, I just kinda mouthed the words, once as "Thug Number One" in a production of OLIVER, and again at a Gang Show, where, in my only solo, I actually spoke the lines, which everyone admits, was funnier.

16) What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
With you, your smell, normally, girls eyes.

17) What is your biggest mistake?
Abso-fucking-lutly non of your buisness

18) Say something totally random about yourself.
my tongue has been peirced for nine years

19) Has anyone ever said that you looked like a celebrity?
Yes but when pressed they can never remember his name, its always "whathisface from that thing, you know?", I also get a stupid amount of people I have never met insisting they know or recognise me, they dont, I've just got one of those faces.

20) What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?
Anal.

21) Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
Depends on who they are.

its customary now to tag others, who do you tag?
String,
The Pope and
a frog I dont care which one

now buy me another drink or piss off

2 Comments:

Blogger Tumuli ranted..

That was brilliant. You transformed the routine "chain-mail" tag into a compelling conversation/story. Well done!

2:51 AM  
Blogger Shroom-Monkey ranted..

awwww, I totally worship you.....

thanks for playing along, I truly did not think you would. what a good sport...

As always, I learn a little something new about you, a little glimpse inside the complicated man.

Most Romantic Thing- ANAL??? well, it does take a girl in love to give up the ass, we chicas don't hand out that card often, so I am sure that was indeed a grand jesture.... silly babes....

12:13 PM  

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