maybe moving in with girls wasn't that good of an idea after all

My brain really does hate me, I mean of course I was going to fall in love with one of my housemates - apart from being stunningly pretty, funny, effortlessly cool (without pretension) and smart - it was inevitable because my brain hates me and spends most of its time devising ways of ruining whatever comfort I find and friendships I have.

My brain really really does hate me, I shouldn't have tried to kill it with pills and poison, and then maybe I wouldn't have seen what I saw. Of course she was going to pick him over me, my stupid brain fooled me otherwise, but hindsight is fucking twenty twenty, he's funny, smart and of most importantly not a stumbling drunk with no life plan apart from "see what happens". And unfortunately my best friend.

I didn't want this post to degenerate into a bitter tirade of self pity. Who am I kidding? That's exactly what I wanted.