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First of all a hello and thank you to all the regular readers of my little rant hole; I have been far too busy for the vaguely nihilistic self absorption that normally is the catalyst for writing and far too undisciplined to force myself to write when there are far more pressing issues like sleeping, eating, and making sure I will be doing neither permanently al fresco next year.

Secondly a big hello to all the new readers I may have gained from pimping my shit in the degree show catalogue. HELLO! I try to update the place about for times a month (although I have been a bit slack recently) if you wondering about the picture in the catalogue click here for the explanation. please feel free to look around the place, take your shoes off and mooch in the cupboards.

So now an update; since my last checked in with y’all I have; won one award, buried one relative, finished one degree, spent one small fortune on said degree, changed one job, caught one stomach bug, accidentally drank one crate of Budweiser, won one game of poker while being somewhere else, found one nice place to live.

As I write this I am invigilating the degree show, I find mild irony in me having to spend most of today, the longest day, in a completely blacked out room, I’m not even hungover *cue shocked gasp from anyone who knows me*, last night the drink:expense:fun ratio was far to low so I took my foot off the booze accelerator for once and watched the car crash of drunk emotional friends with the smugness of a tired paramedic who knows he’s going to be elbow deep in blood by the end of the night.

Last night was the final degree show private view, a culmination of three years hard work. OK not my hard work per say (although to stick doing anything for three years straight is hard work for me). And now I have to say its hard to feel anything, there is a kind of emptiness of not having anything to work towards, and I suppose if I really try there is pride in being part of the show, which many say has been the best in a few years. What I don’t feel is any sense of resolution, maybe when I get my marks it will feel finished. I don’t fell tired but I do feel drained, the last month has tested all my friendships to near breaking point, cleared me out financially and my niece can barely remember who I am.